The article on effective communication can show you how to do it. This approach is radically different from having fights where there are a winner and a loser. In a healthy relationship, when you are together, you are a team, and this team has to be stronger together. The way you handle your first disagreement will set the tone for your future relationship.
How you handle the disagreement will influence the quality of your relationships, from your family to your long-distance partner. When you know how to manage your long-distance relationship and how to deal with disagreements, you will not need to have fights. If you disagree on something with your long-distance partner, try to manage your emotions separately from your preferences. In other words, if you are feeling sad or frustrated, take time to discuss your feelings with your partner.
And if there are things that you want in a certain way, discuss them with your partner, but on a separate occasion. If you are not able to do that or are not willing to spend your energy on it, it could be healthier to end your relationship.
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To deal with a long-distance relationship fight, try to understand the source of your disagreement. When you fight, you see your partner as an enemy. Take the time to remind yourself that you are in this relationship together, on the same team, with the same goals.
My passions include understanding life, relationships and human behaviour. As a coach, I help couples resolve their conflicts and create a harmonious and loving relationship. You have fond feelings towards each other, and now you are in a long-distance relationship. But getting to know someone long-distance can be challenging.
Skip to content. Contents show. Frequently Asked Questions. How to deal with long-distance relationship fights?
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Without conflict or disagreements, our relationships would become stale. There is also a sense of accomplishment when you both manage conflict and it gives you the confidence that you will both be able to successfully work through the next problem that arises in your relationship. Whenever an issue arises which you would like to discuss with your partner, it is important to give them some kind of notice that you want to talk about it.
Your partner will most likely not react positively to a surprise attack and will more often than not feel they are forced into taking a defensive stance. By giving them advance notice you want to talk, it allows them to think about the issue with a clear mind where you can both then tackle the issue more effectively. It is also important to keep in mind that neither you nor your partner is perfect, and you both will make mistakes along the way.
You have to take the good with the bad with anything in life, and relationships are no exception. Nobody can be expected to be a mind reader, so communication is the only tool we have to gain insight into what our partner is feeling so we may be able to solve conflicts that may arise.
If fights do arise, it is important to remember that you are both on the same team, and your conflict with one another should not become a competition to see who can win.
If you do this, you may find that you will both walk away having lost out in terms of harming your relationship. Clear communication will allow you to avoid fights and help solve issues of conflict before they escalate into a full scale argument. With long distance relationships, it may be more difficult to find the right time to talk about issues, especially when you may be in completely different time zones. The worst thing you can possibly do in any relationship is to give the other person the silent treatment.
This is especially true for long distance relationships where verbal communication is often your only avenue. Silence only prolongs the conflict and it will only grow into more of a monster that will make solutions harder to reach. There is nothing wrong with taking some time to cool off a bit, but agree to revisit the disagreement or argument at a later time when you have both had a chance to think things over.
You share many of the same goals hopefully! Remember why you got together in the beginning; all the things you love about each other. It takes a bit of practice to break the habit of fighting, but it can be done. If you feel an argument starting, try to recognise the signs, and make a conscious decision to stop.
Then pause for a while, either by changing the subject, or by agreeing to end the conversation. Go and do something else for ten minutes, half an hour, or however long you need. Be sensible about when to bring up those tricky topics. Another thing that can sometimes help is giving each other more space to communicate.
Take turns to talk without being interrupted. A lot of pressure is caused by two people trying to talk at the same time. Give each other time to talk, and listen without interrupting. Sometimes you can find a surprising number of things you actually agree on. Try sending each other an email! Listening to your partner can often be more important than talking to them.
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